Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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