He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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