He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
