He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
