so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
All the doctor said was why
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize