I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
