everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
