i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
