i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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