Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
