...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
