The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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