the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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