id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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