when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize