Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She's the barista slut.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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