What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I puked a lego.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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