508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
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