I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I puked a lego.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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