Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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