I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize