John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
