I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize