She is in my trunk
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize