Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
