We're facebook friends in real life
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
