My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
