Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
