I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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