toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
