Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
