The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
