i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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