Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Please don't give away my fajitas
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
