Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
