Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
