He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
