I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
