What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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