i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
