I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
