Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
third nipple confirmed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
