i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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