none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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