You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize