Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
