but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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