fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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