Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I love you.
Bad choice
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize