there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
