now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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