Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
