What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
