Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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