I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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