I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
