Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
