I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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