I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
