Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
