it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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