He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
