i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
