Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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