he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
