She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish i was in the wii world.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
