I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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