The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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