Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
